We have been here in our new home for almost 3 months and the excitement and newness is wearing off and I am beginning to feel homesick. I miss my best friend Kim Williams and my God-Parents, Mike and Betsey. They were staples in my everyday and it really helped in keeping me sane.
So far I've met a few friends that I feel have potential but it takes time, and with kids it takes even longer then usual. When your single there is so much time you can dedicate to a friendship but now it takes planning and much effort. It's hard but not impossible. Being new I don't want to come across too strongly or desperately, though I feel somewhat desperate and I'm sure it shows :P
I am extremely extroverted. I regain my energy from spending time with others. If I'm in this house for too long without outside interaction I become drained and depressed. I need people in my life to relieve the pressure I feel from isolation. It's not like there are not events and things I could go to but with Nevaeh and the rules in place at Teen Challenge it's just too big of a risk. I can't keep her to stay in one place and set a "good" example and that goes for Selah too because she has followed her sisters lead and I can't bring myself to hold her to a standard that Nevaeh can't uphold. Someday she will get it and then it will be a little easier to elevate my expectations but for now we are all doing our best with what we have been dealt.
There is really nothing I can do but lean on the Lord and trust in Him to comfort me. I also have to trust in Him to help me develop my relationships. Patience is not my thing and having to wait and not push things is difficult for me. I just want to skip the introduction part and have an instant best friend that I share my darkest secrets and greatest fears with....what is wrong with that ;)