Disclaimer: This is not directed at any one person. I'm generalizing.
Today as I was buzzing around the house doing my Flylady (a method used to keep up on housework) my mind began to wonder. I was thinking about how I view Christians vs. Non-Christians. A realization came to me that shocked me... I am more guarded with Christians than I am with the world. Now, it's important to tell you that I pride myself on being vulnerable, open and honest. You know, REAL!! And to most Christians that is what they see. People are always telling me that. A Christian that I ran into at a park recently told me that I was one of the most refreshing Christians she had encountered, so to come to an understanding about myself that contradicts that was a little unnerving to say the least.
Now my contemplative mind is analyzing this and trying to cut to the root cause of why this is. Why do I feel more comfortable with the unsaved and not just any of the unsaved...but the lowly. The broken. The ones where life has been really hard on them and they know it. It seems to me that most Christians come across as pretentious. They are always trying to "put on" an air of some sort. Trying to "be" something other than who they are. My guess is because the church isn't allowing us to be the mess that we really are. There is an expectation that we are supposed to be perfect. No dirty laundry. No mistakes. Up hold the image that represents the building we attend.
It troubles me that I feel this need to protect myself from a Christian. It's contradictory to the word of God. And it's contradictory who Jesus was. He loved everyone...high and low. Another realization is that the reason they are coming across to me that way is that they are doing the same thing. Protecting themselves from the un-trusting Christian...ME.
It leaves me with this thought....what good are we to the world if what we have is unattainable and if who we are is unapproachable. I wish I was more comfortable with my brothers and sisters who I will spend eternity with but in truth I find more comfort in the heathen.