Thursday, May 26, 2011

Migraine Blues

I did not blog yesterday because I was laid out all day and night with a horrible headache. It started late in the day when we decided to go to a park in Prairie City. Nevaeh did not want to leave and now I will give you a glimpse of living with Autism.

Nevaeh: Can I have play
Me: No you cannot play. I'ts time to go home.
Nevaeh: Can I have play, please, please, please, can I have play.
Me: No. We are going home.
Nevaeh: Can I have angry, We go play.
Me: Yes. You can be angry but we are leaving.
Nevaeh: CAN PLAY. NO WE GO PLAY. PLAY PLAY PLAY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLLLLEEEEAAASEEEEE
Me: enough...we are leaving
Nevaeh: WE GO PLAY NOW. I SAY YES. I SAY NOW. WE GO PLAY. CAN I HAVE HAPPY. WE GO PLAY. NOW. PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEAAASSSEEEE
Are you annoyed yet, tired, irritated?
This actually carries on all the way to the Van and you would think that would be the end of it but carried on in the Van all the way home. Sreams, cries, asking over and over and over and over and over. Then it carried on at home until we put her to bed. 2 hours. She was mad and we all heard it.


The onlookers were shooting me disapproving looks. Which leads me to my rant and hopefully a lessons to the reader. In most situations you can watch a child's behavior and decide what kind of home-life they lead or what kind of parent they have. I'm sure it looks like I must give in all the time and these kids are out of control. But with Autism. It doesn't matter if you say no or how many times. If they get their mind on something or if it's suppose to be a certain way (in their mind) then they demand it that way. She literally freaks out when things don't go according to plan. They do not live on normal standards. They march to the beat to their own drum and quite frankly, on a good day, it's what I love about her most.

What doesn't work is: spanking, yelling, getting mad, taking away a toy, grounding, bed with out dinner, time outs...NOTHING WORKS. You simply ride the storm until it blows over. So, on-looker-prideful glare-I would handle that different-I wouldn't put up with that from my kid, understand that the moment you were just privy to is my every day and every moment. And just because you know someone who has an Autistic kid does not mean you understand what it's like to live with an Autistic kid. 50 years ago they lived in homes because it would not have been expected of a parent to handle this. I'm wondering the same thing myself but I keep trucking. Somehow, every day, the Lord gives me the strength and wisdom to get through the day and for the most part enjoy it. It's just the public-out in front of strangers-days that get to me the most. It's difficult not being understood. I'm just so thankful that I have a husband that understands and rides the storms with me and so thankful I have a King that equips me and holds me. He is the lifter of my head.

4 comments:

  1. Keep on trucking, Christina.

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  2. Christina I really appreciate this. I have no idea what is it like to be around a child wig autism for more than 10 minutes but you're openness and honesty portrays (Spelling) your experience so well. There's no doubt that you are equipped to be an incredible mother to Nevaeh, but ill be praying for great grace for both you and Jason for the moments where you need it most. BTW wig means with but my phone wont let me fix it. Lol. -rachel zoda

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  3. Wow Rach...that is really sweet of you to say. Thank you! I welcome all prayers :)

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  4. I love you and I love your blog and I love that you share so honestly. I learn something from every post, which is why I comment on every post. Pretty soon you'll have a million followers because this is obviously an amazing place.

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